Wife of Thy Youth

"Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers’ with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed; and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman. And embrace the bosom of a stranger? For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth all his goings. His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he shall be holden with the cords of his sins. He shall die without instruction; and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray.” Proverbs 5:15-24

As a newly wed I recall the security I felt in my marriage. I was in love. My husband loved me and I loved him. I felt comfortable enough to be flirtatious with other men. Joking often about sensual things. Until one day when the words I learned as a child came into mind. “Anyone who looks at a woman (man) lustfully has already committed adultery with her (him) in his (her) heart.” (Matthew 5:28)

What was I doing? What was I doing to the men? What was I doing to our marriage? My job? My reputation? The reputation of the men? I was not only placing myself in an unsafe, unhealthy, and in a dangerous position, but I was creating the same for the men.

Proverbs constantly speaks to the men about unhealthy relationships with “strangers” or “another’s wife” or with “prostitutes.” Yet, we as wives can gleam a lot of wisdom and advise from these same verses in Proverbs. We should not cause our husbands to go looking at other women to be satisfied, to find admiration, respect, and love.

Are we, as the “wife of thy youth,” creating cause for our husbands to desire none other? Are we, as “the wife of thy youth,” listening and longing after our husbands. Are we like the hind, the deer, who listens intently for the call of her mate, and once found, remains faithful until death? Are we found as “pleasant roe;” as pleasing as the finest of foods?

Are we an aroma of love, pleasing to look at, touch, and taste in all our physical, emotional, and spiritual being? Do we give cause to such affection and admiration? Do we pray for our husbands, asking God to grant them the wisdom to lead our family, manage the household finances, and provide for our basic needs and financial support? Do we strive to provide a house in which he desires to return home; a household that is content in the roles in which we have been blessed? Do we pray for ourself, asking God to create in us a desire for our husbands and a desire to share our life, our affections, and our physical and spiritual being?

Are our lips as sweet as honey and dripping with loving kindness, admiration, and respect? Are we giving cause for our husbands to desire none other? To look not elsewhere to be satisfied and content? “For love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.” (Song 8:6) Are we stoking the fires of our own “flame of love?"